Gnats Enough: My Hilariously Desperate Quest to Evict Tiny Flying Menaces

Have you ever had to deal with annoying gnats everywhere? In your coffee? In your bath water? In your ear? And… other strange places we won’t talk about, but you know exactly what I mean.

After the third one tried to set up a condo in my ear canal, I officially tapped out. Gnats enough, and I meant it with my whole chest.

We tried almost everything. And by “everything,” I mean everything short of calling an exorcist. But let’s back up — because you’re probably wondering how this whole nightmare began.

Every single year, without fail, I decide to bring an outdoor plant inside because it looks “visibly healthy.” I want to enjoy its green splendor while pretending I’m breathing in fresh plant oxygen. Did you know plants release oxygen? Of course you did. I was this close to giving a science lesson on photosynthesis — but nobody wants that. Let’s skip the nerd stuff and get to the meat of the story.

So yes, we get a few bugs here and there every year after bringing plants inside. But usually, they mind their business. Not this year. This year they showed up like they paid rent and had friends over.

The Indoor Gnat Crisis Becomes Real

We needed a solution — urgently. Apparently, bringing outdoor plants indoors is basically sending gnats a handwritten invitation that says: “Come on in! Full buffet inside!”

We tried everything to get rid of them. And if you know something better, PLEASE tell me, because I’m two gnats away from tossing my houseplants.

But after a tiny little DIY experiment, I think we may have found the way. Here’s what we did:

The Anti-Gnat Plan of Greatness

We marched into Home Depot like two people preparing for battle. We bought:

• 1 large bag of sand

• 2 bags of Mini Marble Chips (aka decorative gravel… but for this article, we’re calling it gravel because that’s easier to spell)

We have 11 indoor green babies, so trust me — this was a commitment.

Step 1: Sand Layer

We added about ½ inch of sand on top of each plant.

Why? Because sand creates a dry, crusty surface that gnats absolutely hate. They want soft, moist, organic soil — like the first inch of dirt where they lay their precious little demon eggs and raise their larva babies.

Step 2: Gravel Layer

We topped that off with gravel for extra armor.

Unlike soil, sand and gravel have:

• No organic material

• Nothing delicious to feast on

• Zero gnat appeal

Basically, it's like turning your plant into the health-food aisle at the grocery store — the gnats take one look and fly right past.

Early Results? Promising. My Sanity? Returning… Slowly.

It’s only been a short time since we tried this DIY trick, but honestly? I think we cracked the code. The gnats seem confused, frustrated, and frankly unwelcome.

Which is exactly the vibe I was going for.

If you try this and it works — let me know. If it doesn’t… well, let’s brainstorm together before we move out and leave the plants behind.